Letting Go

I shared this recently on my Facebook page, and given the response I received privately from several people I thought it might be helpful to share it in a wider circle.  ”Letting go” is a topic of recent interest to many who are feeling a tug from the present Now that is growing more powerful than the pull of Past.  Since I could not articulate the simple wonder of this issue any better, I’ll let Ernest Holmes tell you how freeing it can be.  Enjoy.

She Let Go

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go. She let go of fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all the memories that held her back. She let go of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.

No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go. There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good. It wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

~Ernest Holmes

Dying to Love

I haven’t blogged for a few weeks because I am busy writing a book about the beautiful resurrection of Christ consciousness currently going on in our world.  Look for the finished product in a few months!

In the introduction to the book I talk about the tremendous spiritual awakening that has been rising up through the vehicle of the individual over the past century, and note the incredible global shift in equality that has been taking place concurrently in the same timeframe despite vehement objections from the traditional core of the world’s major religions.  In most places today women and people of color can not only vote they can also be prime ministers and presidents.  In more countries than ever before gays and lesbians can not only serve openly in the military they can also marry.  But if you look two, three even four decades into our future…do you see a woman pope?

My point is that the Christ rising I speak about in my book is the unchurched Christ – it is the divinity that lies in the heart of each one of us, not in any text or temple.

Every person who has come out to tell their story of awakening, including me, says the same thing: that we are Love living in Fear.

Our fear creates suffering through inequality, where there is always a dynamic of less than/more than, right/wrong, mine/yours, submission/domination, threat/control.  Author Anita Moorjani, in her book Dying to Be Me, shows how we can literally embody fear, how we LIVE it in our body, thoughts, words and actions, and in doing so cut off the nourishment of love. In telling of her 30+ hours in “heaven” while in a coma, Ms. Moorjani shares of her experience with the energy of God and her remarkable ability to see the cause of her stage four lymphoma and how to heal completely.  Check out her amazing story here:

Moorjani is just the latest in a string of NYTimes best selling authors to tell of their remarkable awakenings (see also Stroke of Insight, Heaven is for Real, Proof of Heaven).  As more of us who go through these journeys of enlightened understandings share our stories and begin to live from a place of genuine love for ourself and for others, we dissolve the influence of fear, stop its continuation and begin to heal both ourselves and our world.

To me, this is what the resurrection of Christ is all about.  It is the Christ in us rising up to overcome fear in order to remember the spectacularly gorgeous love we are, and to let that remembrance rise up through the world.  And when we reach that common ground we will finally know, without a doubt, that we are the Christ we’ve been waiting for.

To Tell the Truth

Sometimes differing versions of “truth” are not the result of differing perspectives, but rather the result of emotional upset so powerful even the reality of the masses can be obscured.

A few years ago, I was Deputy Executive Director at a large, high profile charity in Washington, DC.  Media from television, radio and newsprint visited the organization frequently because inspiring stories were always in abundance.

One day a television cameraman was upstairs filming “B roll” footage in a warehouse-like packing area while a reporter was interviewing volunteers or staff elsewhere.  The cameraman, while lugging a large video camera on his shoulder, spotted a volunteer heading out the door and ran after the person to film them.  As he ran, he slipped on a wet spot on the concrete floor and fell elbow first on the same arm with which he was carrying the heavy camera.

I was called upstairs by the communications director and the volunteer director and helped get the cameraman into an office.  Bone was protruding through the skin and he clearly needed professional care.  With my medical background I was able to clean the man’s wounds superficially and help him through the initial stages of shock until I could convince him to go to the hospital.

The facilities assistant, Noor, was an African immigrant who had come to the organization through a job placement agency for mentally challenged individuals.  Noor had mopped the floor just minutes before the accident, and initially he adamantly claimed that, per protocol, he had set out orange caution cones topped with signs warning people to watch their step.   But in speaking with the communications and volunteer directors, both said there were no cones or signs posted anywhere.

As you might imagine, this was a very serious incident.  The organization relied heavily on positive portrayal by the media and could not risk being seen as negligent, especially negligence that resulted in injury to media personnel.

Noor, a gentle and sensitive man, was deeply shaken – so much so that he began to doubt himself; maybe he only thought he had put the cones out, he couldn’t be sure.  The two directors vehemently denied seeing any cones and the cameraman, too, said he had seen no warnings.  There were numerous volunteers and staff in the area when the accident occurred, and not a single one reported seeing any “wet floor” caution signs.

After several hours and a great deal of stress for everyone, I was able to review the video tapes from the security cameras, and low and behold the tapes showed there was not one but TWO bright orange cones topped with “CAUTION WET FLOOR” signs in the area of the accident.  In fact, the cameraman had slid right by one when he fell.  In his panic and desire to be helpful, Noor had actually removed the cones to get them out of the way of the rush of people hurrying to help the cameraman.

The directors, cameraman, other staff and volunteers had no malice whatsoever towards Noor that day; they genuinely did not know what was true.  Even Noor himself – the very truth maker – began to doubt what was true.  The unexpected emotional shock of the moment focused everyone so forcefully on one aspect of a reality that other aspects became completely obscured from memory.

We become blinded like this in our own lives when, in times of emotional upset, we “spin up” a single opinion or perspective in our mind with such force we cannot see or entertain the idea of any other reality.  We do this on a larger scale when we get so caught up in a collective emotional upset (the riot mentality) we lose sight of important details of the broader reality.

We rarely have the luxury of video tapes to prove what is absolutely true for ourselves and those around us, so when we judge ourselves or another person or a situation while in an emotionally charged state, chances are good that some significant portion of truth will go unseen.

Learning to replace reactionary impulses of blame and judgment with objective consideration and language not only helps stave off blinding emotional escalation, it also opens our eyes, our minds and our hearts to greater possibilities of truth.

This is perhaps our hardest and most important challenge as humans, for reactionary impulses are rooted deeply in old wounds and fears.  But every such root we are willing to work hard to pull up makes room for new sources of compassion and understanding to grow.   And God knows, our world desperately needs more fruits born of these more loving seeds.

All You Can BE

In 2013, I wish every one of you a year of going beyond the snappy platitudes and clever quips and into a higher state of BEing the glorious body of consciousness that you are.  My own spiritual truth says there is profound freedom in letting go and letting be, so in that spirit I share these loving wishes with you.  May you…

1. Live for the experience; leave expectation out it.  To experience BEing is our ultimate purpose and privilege.

2. Live for the joy; leave judgment out it.  Joy is our natural state, and our deepest desire is to experience BEing in that state fully with unobstructed inward and outward flow.

3. Live in the present; leave the past out of it.  The present now IS the experience of living.

4. Live in the gift; leave conditions out of it.  The unconditional gift IS life itself.

5. Live without promising; leave betrayal out of it.  The experience of BEing our own body of consciousness in each present moment is the only real existence possible, and for that no commitment is ever necessary.

6. Live without surrender; leave defeat out it.  Every possibility and potentiality exists, including our ability to BE grateful and greater through every lesson.

7. Live with courage; leave doubt out of it.  Our BEing here is our own exciting endeavor, and having the ability to BE the fullest experience of our joyful self IS OUR GOAL.

8. Live with love; leave fear out of it.  Love is the energy of the consciousness that we are, and fear is the only thing that holds us back from flowing freely.

In 2013, may you tell new stories. Stand in new vantage points. Shed, renew and emerge.

May you BE deeply honest with, and caring for, yourself, and give that depth of honesty and care to others in compassionate understanding.

May you BE the change you desire, the love you seek, the world you wish to live in.

May you BE happy and healthy in body, mind and spirit! ♥ ♥

Buh Bye

I don’t want to seem ungracious, but 2012, for me you were not all that.  Yes, you gave me moments of great splendor and awe, but let’s face it, for the most part you were downright cruel.

You deprived me of family.  First you took my father.  Then you took my long-awaited reunion with my beloved brother and sister.  Then you took my mother. 

You deprived me of dreams.  You replaced that crucial life-changing professional opportunity with six days of life-threatening hospitalization.  Then you replaced my effusively loving partner with a shockingly cold-shouldered stranger. 

You confused me, misdirected me, weakened me, and knocked me to my knees.  

Do I have anything to be grateful for, 2012?  Absolutely.  In your first six months, India was rich with gratitude-filled experiences, from deep mystical discoveries to enchanted cultural immersion. 

And in your last six months, America brought my virtual world to life with gratitude-filled personal time with numerous Facebook friends from coast to coast.

Was there more to be grateful for, 2012?  Of course.  For the countless cards and calls and care packages filled with love and support….I am grateful.  For the daily emails and instant messages and Skype chats just to connect…I am grateful.  For all the welcoming parties and places to stay…I am grateful.  For all the unexpected gifts that arrived in the mail…I am grateful.  

And for the many who followed my journey, enlisted my prayers, trusted my good heart with their secrets, questions, family, hopes, fears and dreams…I am grateful – and deeply humbled.

Do you see how you pushed and pulled me so, 2012?  You may pride yourself on having offered me a storybook year in which love and support valiantly battled to overcome loss and sorrow, but I do not see it that way.  I see you were a relentless deluge of goddammits and godblessyous, and my heart buckled under the constant weight of bearing and embracing.

So here’s what I’m going to do, 2012: I’m feeling much stronger and more whole now as we inch towards the end of your reign, and I have no desire to drag all this weight across the next threshold.  So I’m leaving all the goddammits here with you and I’m just going to let the godblessyous carry me into 2013.  I prefer their company, and if the law of attraction really works then there will be many more in store for me in the coming twelve months.  

But before I step off into my new beginning, I just want to say one last thank you to all who brought the balance of love into my life this year.  I cherish every moment of your goodwill, and I am grateful beyond measure.  I wish you each and every one an abundance of bliss in all that unfolds in 2013.  I love you…and God bless you.

Pure Love

(This post was prompted by a conference call I participated in with a group of incredibly loving souls.  Big thanks to the PAGC crew for their inspiration.)

In May of this year, after eight months of extensive spiritual work, I did a 14-day isolated retreat in which I fasted for the first seven days.  My goal was to explore in great detail all that existed between my then-current conscious state and the conscious state of being 100% PURE love.

At the time I lived in a silence-only nunnery, but one of the fellow residents there was an annoying chatterbox who could not shut up to save her life; she constantly stopped people in the echoing corridors and went on in conspiratorial tones about other residents.  Not a single day went by when, in meditation or deep contemplation, her grating voice would waft into my awareness and distract me.  I was well aware of the irony that this annoyance kept invading my awareness as I was trying to examine the state of pure love, and my fasting state made this invasion all the more raw.

I made amazing strides in the retreat and gained enormous understanding and growth.  I was eventually able to see the chatterbox as a teacher and compassionately held her in my heart with gratitude and love.  The morning I came out of retreat I felt exhilarated and significantly more enlightened.

A few hours after coming out of retreat and feeling exhilarated, I found myself sitting across from the chatterbox in the dining hall during the silence-only lunch.  Within one minute of starting the meal she broke her silence to publicly chastise me in front of everyone for making a noise and “ruining” her meditative state of eating. Everyone in the room was stunned, and I was completely paralyzed.  The profound joy I had been in for days was instantly replaced with the stabbing pain of embarrassment and humiliation.  The very woman whose interference in my own meditation I had used to deepen my compassion was now chastising me publicly for interfering with her meditation…and I reacted instinctively with pain instead of compassion.

In the weeks that followed that incident I came to realize that much of what existed in the space between me and the state of pure love was not an inability to compassionately understand the motives or pain or divinity of others.  I DID have that ability.  But in times of unexpected confrontation or conflict, I could not react compassionately because I snagged first on my own shame-triggered pain.  Without anything pulling on the roots of that reactionary pain while in spiritual retreat, I could not see it, sense it or try to resolve it no matter how deeply I explored pure love.  This understanding became the key focus of my internal work and continues still today.

For those who withdraw themselves from the world to work on their spiritual development, there is tremendous value in isolating and focusing without distraction.  But when we feel strong and courageous enough, there is also benefit to acknowledging and transmuting what the world reflects or trigger in us.  This is truly where our hardest and most important work is done, for it leads to the development of unconditional love, understanding and compassion for ourselves.

Many who have seen into ethereal realms will tell you that pure love is a brilliantly luminous light.  But we can never BE the purity of love just by trying to honor that light in others.  We HAVE to honor it in ourselves as well.

We are each the source of love’s pure light, and a brilliantly beautiful world awaits the dissolution of all old illusions that keep us from that gorgeous luminosity.

The Heart of Christmas

The advantage of making a What If post in which you say your final words just in case you croak is that you never have to do it again unless there’s a revision you’re just dying to make.  ‘Scuse the pun.

With that task done (see previous post if you’re new here), it’s time now for an uplifting Christmas message!

As many of you know, at this time last year I was living in a remote area of northern India at the foothills of the Himalayas. 

The nearest village was accessible in twenty minutes by way of narrow stone and dirt paths and leaps across six rocks in a creek.  It was a small, traditional Hindu, Muslim and Sikh community into which many Tibetan refugees and Buddhist monks and nuns had integrated.  Everywhere you looked, varying brands of faith were advertised in the clothes people wore, what they did or did not put on their heads, and how they greeted you.

While there were no practicing Christians in sight, it was not at all unusual for this blended community to embrace the spirit of Christ.  Jesus was, after all, considered a Buddha, a prophet and/or a divine being by many in these other religions.  So it should not have come as a surprise that I saw this notice posted outside a local shop just a few days before Christmas:

But this was, in fact, quite a surprise, for beneath the veil of spiritual harmony in this village, there were plenty of tensions constantly brewing. 

For more than 50 years, India has been host to high profile exiles like the Dalai Lama and other Buddhist teachers, and every year thousands of new Tibetan refugees find their way into communities near their beloved leaders.  In the village, it was clear that many Indians alternated between being gracious and blatantly resentful hosts to these Tibetans, and many Tibetans alternated between being grateful and blatantly mistrusting of the Indians. 

The wariness of both sides was easily visible to me, and I found this troubling.  From a distance I assumed their spiritual devotion implied a constant dedication to kindness and compassion, but up close I often saw them behave contradictorily to these very ideals in particular.  Without tending to this troubling feeling, I let it casually wall off my heart so that I mindlessly discounted the spiritual sincerity of both the Indians and the Tibetans.

So I paused when I saw this sign.  At first I thought it was fantastic, that’s why I took a picture of it.  But then I began to think…wait.  Was it genuine or was it gratuitous?  Was it meant to keep the peace or keep the pretense? 

As I walked home, I considered this issue in the manner requisite of any good spiritualist: First, I wondered the hell was wrong with the world.  Then I wondered what the hell was wrong with me.  I had taken a perfectly lovely gesture and promptly allowed my mind to make it suspect.

Wasn’t Christmas precisely the time when people with differences should come together?  Wasn’t the whole point of Christmas that we celebrate in honor of one who sought to unite us through love and peace? 

And wasn’t I being just as lax in my own devotion to kindness and compassion as those by whom I was troubled? 

Ahhh, there was the path I was looking for – out of the drama of my head and into the honesty of my heart.  Unconditional love and understanding were much easier to find in that light.

And so it was that last Christmas a village of Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims and Sikhs helped lead me back to the spirit of Christ I held so dear.  I had wandered away from it in my expectations of how Christ-like others were supposed to be, and that’s just how Christians have been ostracizing people for years – including me.  Because I wanted no part in knowingly ostracizing anyone, I promptly committed to staying centered in my heart every time I walked back into the village from that day forth. 

This Christmas I am again firmly centered in my heart, and it is from that place that I send out prayers of love and blessings to family and friends of all faiths in all corners of the world.  May the light of peace and goodwill shine brightly in your own hearts as you gather with loved ones and those in your own communities throughout this holiday season.  I love you.

[For those who haven’t read last year’s No Seriously, Joy to the World post from my other blog, here’s a link to the replay of that memorable holiday moment with me, three Korean nuns and our Hindu driver: http://thedailylama.blogspot.com/2011/12/no-seriously-joy-to-world.html ]

What If…

No matter what, December 21, 2012 will be just like any other day: it is going to be the last day on Earth for someone, somewhere.  Maybe more than the average number will transition on that day, and maybe not.  The reality is, not a single person in this world knows for certain what will happen to any of us on that day or any other.

So since no one knows for certain, I have to wonder: what if that day is, in fact, my last?  What if this is the last blog post I ever write?

On the slim chance that is true, here is the last thing I want to say:

-       I did my best

-       I have no regrets for loving anyone

-       I have no regrets for any apology I ever made

-       I have no regrets for any dance I danced

-       I have no regrets for any song I sang

-       I have no regrets for any sigh of nature I shared

-       I have no regrets for any night of stargazing

-       I have no regrets for any hand I held

-       I have no regrets for letting dogs kiss me on the lips

-       I have no regrets for seeking understanding

-       I have no regrets for seeking the lesson in every mistake

-       I have no regrets for constant prayers of grateful for my teachers and every single person who supported me on my journey

-       I have no regrets for believing in humanity

-       I took risks

-       I made friends

-       I saw the world

-       I forgave genuinely

-       I made helping others a sincere priority

-       I tried in earnest to find, reveal, and honor my purpose

-       I was the best BEing of love, compassion and kindness I knew how to be

-       No one and no moment was insignificant to the beauty of my experience as a human

If Friday is not my last day, then I have no regrets for taking a few minutes to just appreciate my life.  I wish each of you deep appreciation in the reflection of your own journey.  I love you.

Envisioning a New World: Keepers of Innocence

*This is dedicated to all those in Connecticut who in their hour of darkness remind us that we are the light*

In media reports about killings, the word “innocent” is used primarily in reference to women and children, implying subliminally that the death of men is somehow more fathomable because they are not inherently as innocent as women and children.

In mass killings, “innocent children” get top billing over all others, implying subliminally that the death of any adult is more fathomable because any adult is not inherently as innocent as a child.

Fair enough.  If we feel compelled to decide worthiness of life, history tells us there have not been a lot of women, and certainly not a lot of children, causing problems in the world.

But ‘death of innocence’ sparks our emotional outrage and upheaval from a much deeper place than just identifying who is more or less deserving of life or death.  It comes from the fierce helplessness we feel in seeing the world reflecting back our own loss of innocence.

The African philosophy of Ubuntu says that we become who we are through each other; one reflects what another sees in, or makes of, them.  This philosophy tells us we have a sacred responsibility for each other and that protecting the innocence of one is everyone’s work if innocence is to thrive anywhere.

In our frenetic, pressure-bombarded world, as adults we understandably become so overwhelmed that we forget that WE are the keepers of innocence.  Having had own child-like spirit taken away, we forget then that every child learns to hold on to or let go of their innocence based on what we show them.  They learn from every expression we offer, every word we speak, every motive we evidence, every visual we create, every lyric we sing, every stance we take, every blame or forgiveness we extend.

When tragedy such as a school shooting strikes, we don’t stop to think about all the ways the perpetrator learned to forget his innocence.  We are quick to try to identify a single cause to blame, then we get on our bandwagons and demand change.  Gun control.  Mental health services.  Bullying.  Parental involvement.

In our search for answers and comfort we look everywhere but at the possibility that the single cause of any manmade tragedy is that on our forgotten innocence WE raised a perpetrator in a world riddled with fear instead of love.

When war, killing, bullying, competition, separation, performance, greed and revenge are glorified in every manner of entertainment, education, media, marketing, religion and history telling – and we support these glorifications with our time, attention and money – blaming gun control and lack of mental health services is a like saying the fork caused the holiday weight gain and we lack therapy to cope with our flatware problem.

The best thing any of us can do in the face of a tragedy like what happened in Connecticut is to take a good honest look at where we as individuals further any measure of fear or violence or suppression of kindness, compassion and individual spirit in our world.  ANY MEASURE.  And commit then to transform it to love.

This is how we restore our own innocence as well as ensure that our children’s remain blessedly intact.

In the new world I envision, we have all learned the lessons of those who sacrificed their life to show us that darkness calls for our light.  And we all remember, as last, that we are the keepers of innocence.

Envisioning a New World: Emergence

In my previous post I featured Marianne Williamson and her book, A Return to Love.  Today Marianne has a piece in the HuffingtonPost.com that says everything I was going to talk about in this post, which I intended to be about the emergence of the Christ through each of us.  I see no need to re-word or repeat what she has said so beautifully.  Enjoy!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marianne-williamson/christmas-for-mystics_b_2288340.html